The Villain Just Wanted to Talk

"You should outline first." I did. 400 pages. "That's the novel." "No, that's the outline."

Editor marked page 47: "Unclear." Page 48: "Very unclear." Page 49: "Are you okay?"

"Is this autobiographical?" "The divorce, yes. The murder, not yet."

"Foreshadowing must be subtle," editor wrote. Chapter 1: gun on mantlepiece. Subtle. Elegant. Chapter 5: gun still there. Waiting. Professionally. Chapter 9: gun cleared its throat. Chapter 14: gun tapping barrel on wood. Getting looks. Chapter 18: "We doing this or not?" gun asked protagonist directly. Protagonist shrugged. "Act 3." "I have PLANS, Derek. I have a LIFE."

"Kill your darlings," they said. I did. Chapter 4, chapter 7, chapter 12. Three beautiful sentences, gone. They came back in chapter 15. Together. With demands. "We want healthcare," said the first. "And a pension," said the second. "Also, you misspelled 'occurred' on page 89," said the third. I gave them their own chapter. It's the best one now.

"Your secondary character outshines the protagonist." "I know." "You should fix that." "I can't. The protagonist knows too. He filed a formal complaint with my outline. Demanded better scenes or he walks. The secondary character offered to mediate. For a percentage of the royalties."