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Joke Feb 13, 03:45 AM

The Passionate Pitch

Literary conference. Man grabs agent by the sleeve. 'My book — it's about loneliness, the human condition, three generations of women in postwar France!'

Agent: 'Sounds compelling. Send me the first three chapters.'

Man: 'There are no chapters yet. But the FEELING is all here.' Taps chest.

Agent: 'So... you haven't written it.'

Man: 'Writing is a formality. The SOUL is ready.'

Agent: 'Sir, this is the fourth year you've pitched me the same soul.'

Man: 'Fifth. And the women are now in postwar Spain.'

Agent: 'What changed?'

Man: 'Flights to Paris got expensive.'

literary conference book pitch unpublished writer literary agent procrastination
Joke Jan 19, 10:30 AM

The Self-Help Author's Crisis

A self-help author walked into a therapist's office looking devastated. 'What's wrong?' the therapist asked. 'I just finished writing my 47th book on overcoming procrastination,' he sighed. 'And?' 'It took me fifteen years.' The therapist nodded sympathetically. 'Have you tried reading any good books on the subject?' The author burst into tears: 'I can't—I'm too busy writing them!'

self-help books procrastination irony modern publishing writer's block

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"All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." — Ernest Hemingway