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Writer's cat knocks coffee onto keyboard. Screen fills with gibberish. Writer stares at it. Reads it twice. Changes title of Chapter 7 to match. Editor reads the chapter: "Finally, something with real voice." Cat gets mentioned on the dedication page. Cat knocks another mug. Writer starts taking notes. By Thursday, the cat has a literary agent. Agent calls: "Your client's new piece — stunning. Raw. Visceral." Writer, from the hallway: "That was the vet bill on the scanner." Agent: "We're pitching it to Penguin."

A footnote in an academic paper started seeing a psychiatrist. 'I feel so marginalized,' it sobbed. 'I contain the most fascinating information in the entire document, yet I'm literally pushed to the bottom of the page in tiny font. Meanwhile, the main text just rambles on about methodology!' The psychiatrist nodded sympathetically, then added a small asterisk next to his diagnosis: '*Patient may be suffering from delusions of relevance.'

A young writer received her manuscript back from an editor with a single note: 'I couldn't put it down.' Thrilled, she called to thank him. 'Oh,' he said, 'I meant the coffee cup I was using as a paperweight. I needed both hands to write all the corrections.'