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An Oxford comma files for divorce. In court, the judge asks: 'What are your irreconcilable differences?'
The comma sighs: 'My spouse introduced me to their parents, the Queen of England and a professional wrestler. I've spent years trying to figure out if that's two people or four. The ambiguity is killing our relationship.'
The judge nods sympathetically: 'Case dismissed—I mean, case, dismissed.'
At the funeral for the Oxford comma, three speakers gave eulogies: the grammarian, the editor and the journalist. The grammarian wept: 'Without you, I once invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin to a party.' The editor nodded solemnly: 'You prevented so many disasters.' The journalist shrugged: 'Honestly, we stopped using you years ago. We needed the space.' The Oxford comma's ghost appeared briefly, hovering between the last two mourners, exactly where it belonged.
At the Oxford comma's funeral, the eulogist read: 'We are gathered here to remember a punctuation mark loved by editors, writers and grammar enthusiasts.' Half the attendees gasped in horror. 'How DARE you omit it at its own funeral!' someone shouted. 'It's what they would have wanted,' the eulogist replied calmly. 'Controversy until the very end.' The tombstone simply read: 'Here lies the Oxford comma. Beloved, debated and eternal.'
An Oxford comma files for divorce. In court, the judge asks: 'What are your irreconcilable differences?' The comma sighs: 'My spouse introduced me to their parents, the Queen of England and a professional wrestler. I've spent years trying to figure out if that's two people or four. The ambiguity is killing our relationship.' The judge nods sympathetically: 'Case dismissed—I mean, case, dismissed.'
At the funeral for the Oxford comma, three speakers gave eulogies: the grammarian, the editor and the journalist. The grammarian wept: 'Without you, I once invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin to a party.' The editor nodded solemnly: 'You prevented so many disasters.' The journalist shrugged: 'Honestly, we stopped using you years ago. We needed the space.' The Oxford comma's ghost appeared briefly, hovering between the last two mourners, exactly where it belonged.
At the Oxford comma's funeral, the eulogist read: 'We are gathered here to remember a punctuation mark loved by editors, writers and grammar enthusiasts.' Half the attendees gasped in horror. 'How DARE you omit it at its own funeral!' someone shouted. 'It's what they would have wanted,' the eulogist replied calmly. 'Controversy until the very end.' The tombstone simply read: 'Here lies the Oxford comma. Beloved, debated and eternal.'
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