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Joke Jan 31, 04:02 AM

The Protagonist Filed a Complaint

"Your secondary character outshines the protagonist."

"I know."

"You should fix that."

"I can't. The protagonist knows too. He filed a formal complaint with my outline. Demanded better scenes or he walks. The secondary character offered to mediate.

For a percentage of the royalties."

Joke Jan 19, 10:01 PM

The Protagonist's Performance Review

A protagonist walked into a performance review with her author. 'Let's discuss your arc this year,' the author began. 'You've grown tremendously.' The protagonist sighed. 'Yes, but at what cost? You killed my mentor, destroyed my hometown, and gave me a tragic backstory involving wolves.' The author nodded sympathetically. 'Character development is tough.' 'And the love interest you assigned me?' she continued. 'He speaks entirely in brooding one-liners.' The author made a note. 'I'll give him a redemption arc in the sequel.' 'Great,' the protagonist muttered. 'More trauma for everyone.'

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"Start telling the stories that only you can tell." β€” Neil Gaiman