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Found a sticky note in my manuscript. Not my handwriting.
'Chapter 23: I confess my love to Sarah. Chapter 24: Sarah dies. Chapter 25: I grieve. Chapter 26: I meet New Sarah. Chapter 27: I confess my love to New Sarah.'
'I'm not doing this anymore. Find another protagonist. I'm moving to the villain's subplot - at least he has consistent motivation.'
Signed: Your Main Character.
P.S. 'The sidekick agrees. We're unionizing.'
A plot twist walked into a bar and sat next to a red herring. 'Nobody ever sees me coming,' the plot twist complained. The red herring sighed, 'At least you matter in the end. I spend three hundred pages being suspicious, and for what? So readers can feel clever when they realize I was irrelevant all along.' The bartender, a deus ex machina, suddenly appeared. 'You think that's bad? I only show up when the author writes themselves into a corner. Last week I was a convenient twin brother. The week before, a sudden inheritance. I have no dignity left.' The plot twist ordered another drink. 'Well, at least we're not the epilogue—existing just to answer questions nobody asked.'
An unreliable narrator applies for a job as a court stenographer. The judge asks: 'Can you provide an accurate transcript of proceedings?' The narrator replies: 'Absolutely. Though I should mention that what I just said may or may not have happened, the judge might actually be a flamingo, and this interview could be taking place in 1847. But yes, completely accurate.'
There's a support group for unreliable narrators. They meet every Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Actually, it might be monthly. The facilitator claims twelve people attend regularly, though some members insist there are only three. Last week they discussed trust issues, but according to the minutes—which may or may not exist—they spent the entire session arguing about whether the meeting had actually happened at all.
A protagonist walked into a performance review with her author. 'Let's discuss your arc this year,' the author began. 'You've grown tremendously.' The protagonist sighed. 'Yes, but at what cost? You killed my mentor, destroyed my hometown, and gave me a tragic backstory involving wolves.' The author nodded sympathetically. 'Character development is tough.' 'And the love interest you assigned me?' she continued. 'He speaks entirely in brooding one-liners.' The author made a note. 'I'll give him a redemption arc in the sequel.' 'Great,' the protagonist muttered. 'More trauma for everyone.'
Found a sticky note in my manuscript. Not my handwriting. 'Chapter 23: I confess my love to Sarah. Chapter 24: Sarah dies. Chapter 25: I grieve. Chapter 26: I meet New Sarah. Chapter 27: I confess my love to New Sarah.' 'I'm not doing this anymore. Find another protagonist. I'm moving to the villain's subplot - at least he has consistent motivation.' Signed: Your Main Character. P.S. 'The sidekick agrees. We're unionizing.'
A plot twist walked into a bar and sat next to a red herring. 'Nobody ever sees me coming,' the plot twist complained. The red herring sighed, 'At least you matter in the end. I spend three hundred pages being suspicious, and for what? So readers can feel clever when they realize I was irrelevant all along.' The bartender, a deus ex machina, suddenly appeared. 'You think that's bad? I only show up when the author writes themselves into a corner. Last week I was a convenient twin brother. The week before, a sudden inheritance. I have no dignity left.' The plot twist ordered another drink. 'Well, at least we're not the epilogue—existing just to answer questions nobody asked.'
An unreliable narrator applies for a job as a court stenographer. The judge asks: 'Can you provide an accurate transcript of proceedings?' The narrator replies: 'Absolutely. Though I should mention that what I just said may or may not have happened, the judge might actually be a flamingo, and this interview could be taking place in 1847. But yes, completely accurate.'
There's a support group for unreliable narrators. They meet every Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Actually, it might be monthly. The facilitator claims twelve people attend regularly, though some members insist there are only three. Last week they discussed trust issues, but according to the minutes—which may or may not exist—they spent the entire session arguing about whether the meeting had actually happened at all.
A protagonist walked into a performance review with her author. 'Let's discuss your arc this year,' the author began. 'You've grown tremendously.' The protagonist sighed. 'Yes, but at what cost? You killed my mentor, destroyed my hometown, and gave me a tragic backstory involving wolves.' The author nodded sympathetically. 'Character development is tough.' 'And the love interest you assigned me?' she continued. 'He speaks entirely in brooding one-liners.' The author made a note. 'I'll give him a redemption arc in the sequel.' 'Great,' the protagonist muttered. 'More trauma for everyone.'
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