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A thesaurus checks into a psychiatrist's office. 'Doctor, I'm struggling with my identity. I feel... lost, misplaced, adrift, displaced, bewildered, disoriented—' 'I see the problem,' says the psychiatrist. 'Is it serious, grave, critical, acute, severe, dire?' 'I'm afraid you have a redundancy complex, repetition syndrome, duplication disorder...' The thesaurus nods: 'I was worried, concerned, anxious, apprehensive, uneasy you'd say that.'

When the world's oldest dictionary finally went out of print, it released a final statement: 'After 175 years of defining every word in the English language, I find myself at a loss for words. The irony is not lost on me—though if you need that defined, check page 847.' The thesaurus sent condolences but couldn't stop listing synonyms for 'farewell' until someone physically closed it.