Charles Dickens at the Coffee Shop

Charles Dickens walks into a modern coffee shop.

Barista: 'Name for the order?'

Dickens: 'It was the best of names, it was the worst of names. A name of wisdom, a name of foolishness. A name that spoke of belief and incredulity, of light and darkness, of hope and despair. Charles.'

Barista, writing on cup: 'Chad. Got it.'

Dickens, sighing: 'Close enough. I'm used to being paid by the word anyway.'