The Time Traveler's Grammar Dilemma

A time-traveling author visits H.G. Wells to discuss 'The Time Machine.' Wells asks, 'So, did you enjoy my book?' The author pauses awkwardly: 'I will have had been going to read it... or wait, I already will be having read it?' Wells sighs: 'And THIS is why I never wrote a sequel. The verb tenses alone would drive readers mad.'