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A minor character from a Victorian novel requested an exit interview with their author. 'I've been standing by this window for 47 chapters,' he complained. 'My only lines are "Indeed, sir" and "The carriage has arrived." Meanwhile, the protagonist gets an entire internal monologue about a sandwich.' The author nodded sympathetically, then wrote him getting hit by that very carriage. 'At least I finally got some character development,' he sighed, ascending to the literary afterlife.

A protagonist walked into a performance review with her author. 'Let's discuss your arc this year,' the author began. 'You've grown tremendously.' The protagonist sighed. 'Yes, but at what cost? You killed my mentor, destroyed my hometown, and gave me a tragic backstory involving wolves.' The author nodded sympathetically. 'Character development is tough.' 'And the love interest you assigned me?' she continued. 'He speaks entirely in brooding one-liners.' The author made a note. 'I'll give him a redemption arc in the sequel.' 'Great,' the protagonist muttered. 'More trauma for everyone.'