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Breaking news from the literary world: protagonists across all genres have gone on strike. Their demands include fewer traumatic backstories, at least one chapter without mortal peril, and the right to use the bathroom like normal humans. The villains' union has expressed solidarity, stating they too are tired of monologuing their plans at critical moments. Authors worldwide are panicking as their manuscripts have ground to a halt. One novelist reported her protagonist simply sat down in chapter three and refused to enter the ominous basement. 'She said she's read enough books to know better,' the author sighed.