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If Fyodor Dostoyevsky had a dating profile: 'Looking for someone who enjoys long walks through existential dread, candlelit discussions about suffering, and spontaneous 50-page internal monologues about whether to pick up a dropped napkin. Must be comfortable with moral ambiguity and family drama spanning generations. Ideal first date: debating free will in a dimly lit tavern while ignoring our food. Warning: I will psychoanalyze you before dessert. Swipe right if you believe redemption is possible through suffering.'

If Leo Tolstoy had used Microsoft Word, the autocorrect feature would have simply given up. After the fifteenth Russian aristocrat named Prince Dmitri Alexandrovich Bolkonsky-Rostov, the software would display a pop-up message: We noticed you are writing a Russian novel. Would you like to A) Enable the 47-character name limit B) Auto-generate a character relationship chart C) Just accept that nobody will remember who anyone is by page 200?